My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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