You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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