Me too!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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