i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
