Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
