he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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