Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
