You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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