two words: eviction party
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
