1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I need to sanitize my soul.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
