my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize