end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
