i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
