when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
