quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
