I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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