it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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