i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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