well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
