I hate all girls vehemently.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
God, I missed his penis.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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