Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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