I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He better not be in your backpack
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
