have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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