i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
