your thong is hanging out like whoa
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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