Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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