I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You pole danced in your parka.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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