You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
