I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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