u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
