I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I wish you could order shots online.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize