my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
