Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it glows. i had to have it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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