My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
