They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
