A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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