Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
