last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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