Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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