Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
