i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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