i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
