Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
