Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
