okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
A bitchslap is in order.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
