This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's great music for shaving your balls
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
