wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
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How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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