it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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