Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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