i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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