Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
