I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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