I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
