Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
