So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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