Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
