Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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