Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So much Jack, so little girl.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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