Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
