also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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