That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
