Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
