This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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