so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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